Why is it that some mom's groups it seems like you need a job interview to get into them? Or that when you finally find one that when you get there and park, get your stroller, your kid, and ready to play and be social that you all the sudden are being watched. And if you don't do the right thing, have your kid wear, eat the right foods, or anything they are horrified.
You quickly try to clean them up to fix things up so that you look all put together and will be accepted but they have already "labeled" you. You feel ashamed and slink quietly into the corner of the group just hoping that they won't cast you out.
Snide comments about parenting are made, what people feed their kids, how others handle public tantrums, and where you choose to send your kids to school. All of these things can be hurtful to some parents if not talked about properly.
So how do you know if you are being a good mom? Figure out what works best for your kids and you and learn to trust yourself is the best way, say moms who've been around the block once or twice. You are being a good mother, even if you sometimes doubt it! I know sometimes that other mom's can make us feel inadequate by some of the comments they might make. For example "What kind of mom feeds her kid processed food that leaves an orange stain?". Who are these mom's to openly chastise other mom's for making choices for themselves and their kids?
Motherhood has become a spectator sport. The bar for motherhood today seems impossibly to high. It use to be that a Supermom was one who went to work and had kids and kept the house clean. Now it's trickled into, "I breastfed until my kid was 20 and now I feed him only organics, take him to piano, soccer, and oh by the way, I'm a size 6 and my hair always looks great! Compairing yourself to that one supermom who seems to be able to do it all is damaging and not a goal worth aiming for. "The mom who looks completely put together and is baking 100 cupcakes for the school, running the fund-raiser, and her own business is exhausted. She is either employing some help of she is about to fall apart. You don't want to aspire to something that is impossible to maintain.
With all the expert parenting information avalible to us today you think us mothers we'd feel well-informed. But sometimes when you are at the pediatrician's office and you are reading all the wonderful parenting articles about all the wonderful parenting you should do-never yell or tell your child was bad, but rather that they made a poor choice. Then they get into the whole natural food thing and how you should never serve SpagehettiO's. I think we learn to distrust ourselves.
Real life mom's get stressed and lose patiences. Sometimes, we yell. But one of the thing those articles never mention is that children are very resilient. Doing what you believe is best for your children and your family makes you a good mom, no matter if it fits anyone else's standard. So just don't worry about what others think just what your kids think.
