- I want to one-up the my-life-is-perfect Christmas card lady, the one who gets her cards out first, complete with staged photo of her hellion children and a one page, rhyming letter about how spectacular they all are.
- I want to make cookies with my kids. They just want to make the things to put candies on or sprinkles on and make a mess and leave. I am left to make all the traditional cookies alone for hours and days.
- I want to give my children the perfect gift so that they’ll be occupied for hours, all the while being educated.
- I want the toys I get to not require me to cut 50,000 wires and require a battery supply equivalent to a year’s college tuition.
- I want my tree to look fancy, like one from a magazine with bows and big lights instead of the tossed together tree I have now because we don't have time and the kids want to decorate for 2 seconds. I want a fully decorated tree that is put together with love as we all sit beside it decorating with music and having family time.
- I want to have the glory of saying, “I’m done with shopping” in early December.
- I want to rub the aforementioned into someone’s face, particularly someone like the person I morph into in mid-December, when the crunch is on and suddenly I’m buying As Seen On TV gifts for my in-laws at the drug store because in my holiday frazzled mind, it’s really a great product.
- I want to make seriously perfect holiday memories. Perfect decoration, family gatherings, tradional foods, tradional activities like (cutting a tree, seeing santa, pictures, riding in the car to see lights), reading The Night Before Christmas by firelight, matching pajamas, the works.
- I want the world to travel to me (or not?) on Christmas day, so we don’t have to say to the kids, “Great! New Toys! Now put them away and go put on itchy clothes because we’re going to spend the rest of the day eating and riding in the car! Yay!”
- I want to fall asleep in wrapping paper with perfectly frosted cookies smeared on my face and even a little bit on my matching pajamas. And then I want to take a picture and put it on next year’s card. That’s right.
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