What do you do when text book answers aren’t enough?

Why Marriage Recovery?

Every one has a vision for their marriage. There are times that the vision we had and the reality we live in are worlds apart. We don’t have all the answers, and maybe we aren’t even asking the right questions.
We dont want all the answers or fix our marriage. We want others and ourselves come along side of us and help us take the next step in your journey with Christ.  We aren't looking for textbook answers, we need a partner in the journey of our recovery to help our marriage repair.
Testimonial

Eastlake Community Church came along at a crucial time in our marriage and were a HUGE answer to prayer. The insight my husband and I gained from gave us hope, courage, and focus in a way that nothing has done in the past.  There is something very powerful about coming together “in Christ’s name” to create stronger, healthier, more God-centered relationships.         
We have seen others go through so much and other pains and recovery and it has touched us in this community that we know that we are in a safe place both physically and mentally to open up and take on this "dark horse" in our lives.  We know we can't do it alone and we know we aren't alone.  We know we have God beside us on our road to recovery and repair.

My best friends and I have known each other most of my life. Through the years we have had our waves of trials and tribulations as any other relationship would. However, what has remained constant is our loyalty to one another. Our friendship has evolved from childhood playdates to a sisterhood that has us discussing life as mothers and wives.

God puts special people in our path to help shape us into the people He wants us to be. We can pray and encourage our kids to find healthy friendships with others and advise them on how to also be a good friend.

I just had to share one of my newest ideas.  I did this at my daughters 4th birthday party.  It was a huge hit.  Because of that we have done it for our growth group as well.  It is just a cool way to hold and handle the watermelon.  The kids just love it.  It makes it so easy for them to eat it.  So give this a try this summer to have your watermelon pops!!!

Oh yes I wish my windows opened up to this in the morning.  A place like this has been on my mind.  I would love to just wake up to sun, the beach, blue skies, and smiles.  I just don't know why Washington has nice mountains and all the things it has but well honestly as I am getting older and have kids we want this more and more every day.  My son would love to skate board and surf.  My daughter is a total beach girl.  I would just love it.  I am just waiting now for this to not be a dream and for just a moment to wake up to something like this one morning.

My husband and I run a small group from our church during the week.  We are now on our 2nd session and have gone through the breaks because people just have connected.  We usually eat, gather, and talk about the message for the week.  We have hit many topics and some we have shared many personal things too.  Some nights we even have tears. 

We are on a new series about LOVE.  We have been talking about love in marriage and relationships.  How love impacts our relationships.  Well for some it has been hard because they are just getting into a relationship, some have been in a relationship or marriage for a while, and others are not in a relationship an more but can have lots of input too. 

I know for me that my marriage for the 17 years of marriage and 20 years I have known him has not been easy.  And well it shouldn't be for that long.  I know that we married young and that opposites attract.  We have also been learning about bringing baggage into a relationship.  Well I think back at how young we were.  We didn't know what baggage our families had, what we were going to be molded into as people, or how things would start to pan out.  This was a journey that we were going to have to go through life together with.  For us we have had things a bit different than some.  Some people that marry later and have had time and age to process some of these things in life yes these things can impact who you are and your relationship.  But when you are so young you don't have that understanding.

For us in our marriage we so far have been able to work through things.  And yes we have talked about and worked out some really hard and tough issues in our years.  As we have told each other there are some friends and people in our lives that would have gotten a divorce over some or half of the stuff we have been through.  It isn't easy and we will be the first ones to admit that but we do know that being alone is hard too.  So if you are going to have a great marriage, it will cost you.  What do you think some of the costs are to having a great marriage? 

In a marriage you also have to realize you come from different families.  What are some of the differences about your family you have learned maybe aren't the same as other people's family's?  Well for us we talk about this from time to time and know that our families are very different.  My husband his family they sheltered him from a lot to protect him from things.  He didn't know a lot about what was going on or what is still going on in the family.  Both of his parents came from parents that drank and had abuse.  Because of that both of his parents didn't believe and raise their kids with physical punishment.  My family 3 out of 4 kids were adopted.  I grew up with one side of the family being Swedish (my mom's) and the other side was southern (my dad).  I grew up with great family traditions, close family, in the kitchen with grandma. 

Sometimes you might think the grass is greener on the other side but that isn't true.  It is greener where you water it.  When you take care of and water your relationship and care for the important relationship you have you won't be tempted by things that can come into your relationship to tear it down.  In our relationship we have had our struggles but thinking about this we know that the grass isn't greener.  It is hard though for some this can mean so many things.  So make sure that you talk it out and know that you are there for each other. 

Encouragement is something that is huge in a relationship.  You need to make sure that you provide an environment of encouragement in your community for other people's relationships.  Make sure that you take a deep breathe when you are handling issues with your spouse and try to talk calmly about things.  It is hard to not yell at them sometimes but then really everyone stops listening.  So try to work on calming tones and talking things through.

Remember that divorce is not a result of the kids leaving it is a result of years of neglect.  What things do you think get neglected when kids come into the picture?  What can you do to avoid neglecting your marriage? 

“Love is what we are born with.
Fear is what we learn.
The spiritual journey is the unlearning of fear and prejudices and the acceptance of love back in our hearts. Love is the essential reality and our purpose on earth. To be consciously aware of it, to experience love in ourselves and others, is the meaning of life.
Meaning does not lie in things.
Meaning lies in us."

~ Marianne Williamson

This is for all you stay at home parents out there! 

A man came home from work and found his 3 children outside, still in their pyjamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn around garden, The door of his wife's car was open, as was the front door to the house and no sign of the dog, walking in the door, he found ...an even bigger mess. A lamp had been knocked over, the throw rug was against one wall, In the front room the TV was on loudly with the cartoon channel, the family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing. In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast food was spilled on the counter, the fridge door was open wide, dog food was spilled on the floor, a broken glass lay under the table, and a small pile of sand was spread by the back door. 

He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys and more piles of clothes, looking for his wife. He was worried she might be ill, or that something serious had happened. He was met with a small trickle of water as it made its way out the bathroom door. As he peered inside he found wet towels, scummy soap and more toys strewn over the floor. Miles of toilet paper lay in a heap and toothpaste had been smeared over the mirror and walls. 

As he rushed to the bedroom, he found his wife still curled up in the bed in her pyjamas, reading a novel... She looked up at him, smiled and asked how his day went.

He looked at her bewildered and asked, "What happened here today?"

She again smiled and answered, "You know every day when you come home from work and you ask me what in the world do I do all day?..."
"Yes," was his incredulous reply..

She answered, "Well, today I didn't do it."

Re share! Photographer unknown - please let me know if you do :)

Today is my tiny ones birthday! I just can't believe that she is 4 years old. It is amazing to me that wow how time does just fly by.  I know she will always be my baby girl.  From the moment I found out I was pregnant with her I knew my life was going to change forever.  And it did.  So many things have happened and changed but I am so blessed to have her and everything that has happened because of her.

My pregnancy was going quite well with her until I up and broke my ankle.  Yes I had to be on bed rest for most of the pregnancy after that.  I actually delivered her in a brace.  It was just amazing and the worst was to take my first steps in the hospital without a brace on out of my hospital bed knowing I had just a newborn baby that needed me.  Placing my weight on it and stepping I knew it was all for her.  I did it.  And from then on I knew I was strong enough to take anything for her.

The first year was really tough she was not a good sleeper at all.  I think I spent the first year in a chair sleeping.  She went to a sleep study even at Children's Hospital.  Yes she is a tough cookie too.  She has such a great and fun personality one that is just infectious.  And yet she is a lover too.  She is so smart and learning so much.  With all that she has going for her some people actually think she is older than she is.  Whatever it is I know I just love her so much and she is just my little best friend.

We love to hang out together, she loves to have me do her hair, and we love to put on make-up together.  She loves to go shopping with me.  She actually has great fashion sense and style.  She is my little Fashionista.  I know I will love to watch her as she grows but I also know I will cry along the way.  I just hope that she knows how much her mom loves her.  I love you my little Tinkerbell princess.  Happy Birthday Aaliyah!!!

Well I have been thinking about this these days.  I have been out with some friends of mine that have jobs or my husband.  And when you are introduced and people ask you "what do you do for a living?" well my heart sinks because I know telling the I am just a mom well they really don't know what I do or who I am.  I know all of us mom's know that being a mom is hard work.  And yes it is.  The house work, meals, taking care of the kids, everyone in the house, doing the shopping, budget, and so much more that the list would go on for ever.  But what some people don't know is that some "mom's" had jobs maybe or skill beyond being a mom too.  And yes I am one of those mom's.  I don't have my resume tattooed on me but well I do have some skills and I can do things beside just clean.

When we go to church I love to try to help out and be apart of the team.  My husband has a tech job and he is a specialist.  Some are finding in church he is quite talented.  But when I go I talk to people and clean things up.  When I go to the bathroom I wipe down the counters.  When I work in the kids area I clean up the kids toys and snacks.  I try to make it in to help do the cleaning of all the rooms during the week.  I have tried to do some work in the computer/data area but I don't know they seem to think because I am home with my kids I can't do anything.  Well that is to bad too. 

When I went down my path in life I thought I wanted to be an interior designer.  I had to take a couple computer classes.  I wasn't excited to do it.  But what I found was my instructor didn't know what they were doing and I ended up teaching them some things and doing really well.  I ended up teaching myself about databases, html programing, Unix, networking, email administration and more.  I was hired and sought after some major companies.  I had a good career.  I still love it and stay in the know of technology.  I love to be in the know and on top of what I can.  I love to be challenged. 

I have also still enjoyed the fashion world and stay on top of all things there as well too.  I just love what is new where to get it when it is coming out.  This includes make up too.  I just love staying up on top of all of this information.  And I also love sharing, helping, and passing along what I can. 

I have been shopping at the mall recently and the past 2 times in the cosmetics counters the ladies have been so impressed by my knowledge of product and excitement for it that they both have told me I should work there.  I know when you have a passion for something it is contagious but wow that was just so honoring to think that "just a mom" could make an impression on someone.  I know that I have skills and I know that I have knowledge I just wish people some days could look past the fact that "mom's" there are more to them.