When Jason and I got married, it wasn't so we would have someone to just be with for the rest of our lives.  We got married because we were friends and liked spending time together.  We couldn't imagine not being together because we loved being together.  We loved thinking about one another.  We loved doing just about everything together.  All of these things are still true for us today, and I am so thankful.  What is interesting to me is to see others or watch other people talk about their marriage or complain like they had to get married or are stuck in it for the rest of their lives.  How does that just happen to people?  How can you just marry someone you don't really even have a connection with?

I think back to when things all started for us.  When we first met and it was at some friends going away to college party.  Jason saw me and he said he knew right then he liked me and wanted to talk to me.  He didn't know how.  He had just come from trying to play tennis and so he would bounce the tennis ball to me to have be get it for him (over and over).  It was his way to have me maybe talk to him.  For me I was just bothered that someone just kept doing it over and over and never said anything to me.  I found out later that he asked about me.  I didn't pay to much attention because I didn't even know or remember who he was or what he looked like.  Well then a few weeks later we met again and this time he took me home and we sat in my front yard talking and talking for hours.  This is when it all started.  We connected and became friends and from then on we would continue to go out together.

After a year or so I was in college and he was working for a large technology company traveling a lot.  Things were getting more serious.  We would hang out together and with other friends that were dating and it just seemed and felt so natural for us to be together.  As time went on I think Jason started to get scared a little.  Not sure if this is what we are suppose to be doing at this point on one of his trips he started to talk to one of his older married friends about his feelings.  He told him and confirmed for him that what he was feeling was natural and that it was a good thing.  After some thinking and things he called me and asked me to marry him.   This was shocking to me being so young but well I didn't know what to do but I knew that well I loved him and he was my best friend and well I didn't see my life without him so well I said "yes".

Well after we got married it seemed the "honeymoon stage" didn't last long.  Our friends looked up to us to be an example to them and we were look at to show them how we were doing this and putting this all together.  We went through some tough things together medically and with our families that well we kinda had to grow up fast.  It was hard on us being so young and being put in this position to have it all together for everyone.  To be put in the spot to be giving advice, going to things that well we thought we were just to young for but people expected us to, had couples over for dinner and were expected to have a "Martha Stewart" type home it was just to hard.  Some how we did this and I know it put a strain on us to be "perfect" and to have it all together.

Finally we had to decide that well we just could not keep doing this.  It just wasn't us.  We had to do what we wanted and to be ourselves.  We could not have and keep putting things on for people that expected so much from us.  Of course we love our friends dearly but well we could not make everyone happy and ourselves.  We then felt like some people put up a guard against us.  I think back and wonder if things would be different if people would still talk to us, still treat us the same, kept being apart of our lives if we would have not changed our lives.  I wonder if after changing habits and being more positive if in the end we can get to know each other again?  I miss some of my old friends.