Well I had to have surgery this year the first week of Jan to remove an ovarian cyst.  We found out about the cyst in 2010 when I doubled over in pain one day. I had tests and ultrasounds run to check on the size and it was large and kept growing.  So they decided it needed to come out.  They wanted to take it out in December but I asked if I was going to die from it and if it could wait til Jan or something because I didn't want to do it during the holidays.  So we waited.

So come the first week of Jan I went in for surgery and in hopes of an easy surgery to do an arthroscopic surgery to remove the cyst and maybe the ovary too.  But that isn't what could happen.  They got in there and because of to much scar tissue from my 2 c-sections and hysterectomy just a few years ago it made for a more difficult surgery.  It took over an hour and 20 min for the doctor to cut all the scar tissue from all of my organs (stomach, intestines, bowels, tummy wall, everywhere).  I feel like a train hit me or a rotor rooter went through me.  It hurts so much. 

When the doctor was finished with the surgery he came out the see my husband and my mom and told them about the surgery.  He also told them that I must have been in a lot of pain for a long time and just covered it up very well,  It was a long and rough surgery. I am going to have a rough recovery.

So far coming home though I have been trying to recover and relax. I know I hurt and am in pain but well I have a family that needs things.  It is hard to be home and well I sometimes think that just because I look good even without makeup or take time to put it on, brush my hair, put clothing on that people think that I am OK.  Well those things to do sometimes to do my hair and get dressed take me hours now not just a few minutes.  But what I need people to remember is that I am hurt no matter if I get dressed and ready for the day.  I don't want to look like trash or smell when my friends or family come to see me so I am sorry for cleaning myself up a bit.

But I am in no way ready to function at top speed.  And sometimes I even think my own family forgets this.  They think I can do the dishes, laundry, clean up, put things away, go shopping, you name it just like I use to.  We I am sorry but I can't.  It hurts me and I am not doing well.  But so far everyone thinks oh she is out of the hospital and looks good or almost back to normal so she is fine.  Well I am sorry they didn't cut my face off they cut my tummy off instead.  And it really hurts.

I have had do the best I can as a mom and get my kids clothing and have my little one help herself get dressed.  I have had to do my best to pick up and clean when and where I can.  I have had to take shifts at folding laundry.  I have had my son help me bring the laundry up and down and get it started.  But I have to switch machines.  I have had to sweep and mop.  Thank goodness for a robot vacuum and a little hand held vac. 

I am getting by trying to sit as much as I can, taking a chair outside to watch my kids sledding, and trying to rest but be apart of my family.  And I am taking my pain meds.  So I will keep being strong and making it through this and I will recover some how some day.  I just hope people know that I am human and have pain too and am doing the best I can.